Saturday Night Lay Report!
Been trying to juggle working as a stripper and getting laid, with the hours I work it's been pretty fucking tough, but it's been a great week. 3 new kills in less than 7 days.
Saturday, I was feeling really down and out, incredibly depressed and spending the entire day in my bed. In all honesty I was upset over this tinder girl that didn't really want to hit me up again after a one night stand and it hurt my ego.
My room mates were all getting ready to go to Rebel and asked me to come but instead I wanted to stay in and look at bullshit social media posts and admire all the people having fun and getting laid that night. It was getting really late, and I was having insane mood issues. I barely pulled myself together and forced myself to go to work at the strip club.
The minute I get there, I could already tell I wouldn't make it through the night. I literally do one stage show, stay for about 20 minutes, and ask to leave on account of me being "sick".
I get back home and i'm completely alone. I suddenly get a text from my buddy EJ asking if I wanted to come hang out. I seriously felt like I had nothing to lose, so I agreed to come out.
I walk to Tequila Jacks and meet up with EJ at the door. We pay 10 bucks to enter, plus the coat check, and I swear there were like 10 people inside the club lmao. Nevertheless, I begin dancing by myself like an idiot just laughing at myself and tapping girls on the should signaling them to "come here". I don't have much luck, maybe grind on a couple and get shrugged off. Time passes, and I'm running around the club doing stupid shit and having fun by myself. I might as well make the most of my 10 bucks I figured.
After a tequila shot, my alter ego "chris the stripper" comes out, and I start pushing drunk white girls out of the way so I can show off on the stripper pole. Everyone started staring at me, and the social attention gave me an insane rush. Suddenly girls were pulling out their phones trying to record me. Next thing I know, this stunning blonde who i saw being grabbed by a bunch of dudes all night comes up to me and we start dancing.
Slowly turns more intense, and I'm biting this chicks neck, making out hard, giving her hickies. We dance for a long time, guys giving me props in the club and looking jealous as fuck. In my mind I felt like she was a tease and this was going to go nowhere, but I decided to do something I never usually do and STICK IN SET. She says she wants to grab drinks with me and offers to pay, so we go up to the bar, but she says her friends have her wallet.
Normally I would bounce out of set and tell her to fuck herself, but $4 never killed anyone, so I bought us each a shot. Then we get back to making out and fingering, dry humping, sucking on titties, etc right in front of everyone. She tells me she has to find her friends for a second, so she leaves for a bit and I assume I'm never going to see her again.
I go back to dancing like a retard, gaming random girls and it actually starts going well. Completely by myself at this point and actually having the time of my life. The blonde keeps giving me glances in the crowd, and I see her start dancing with these random dudes acting incredibly thirsty. She tries to curve them, but they persist. I know in the back of my mind I could swoop her up in a second. She keeps smiling at me.
So I bounce back in set after letting the dudes have a shot and ultimately boosting her horniness, which makes it better for me in the long run ;) She grabs my hand and says she wants to show me off to her friends, so I come with her. It's funny because this girl looked barely 18, and her friends were full grown adults lmao. Turns out she's actually 22 years old..
More making out, dancing, fingering, and things get more heated to the point where she agrees we should hang out later. Turns out she lives at yonge and wellesley with a room mate and I can sleep over. I tell her we should have an "Afterparty". The night is still semi young and I know i'd look like a loser just like every guy if I stuck with her the whole time.
I decided to leave set again for a while, and this girl disappears to some booth and starts drinking other guys' alcohol. FUCK, i think i finally lost her.
BUT, around 1:45 around the end of the night, most of the crowd as disappeared, and i fucking find her. She's looking for her friends, and I join her, saying "Im part of your crew now, where are we going?". She lets me tag along with her and about 5 other people as we begin leaving the club. Turns out her friends want to go to some random dudes condo who happens to be a doctor. Me and her make small talk as we're all walking, apparently this chick is a 22 year old accountant and works for a successful firm, listens to podcasts and Tim Ferriss, and is a fucking nympho. I can tell she's starting to like me a lot. maid of honor wearings backtracking to 1920
We go to this doctor's condo, have some more drinks, and I awkwardly try to mingle with people i've never met in my life. I'm this stripper degenerate and they're all investment bankers and shit. But i successfully manage to bullshit my way through everything lmao. We do some more shots, and she tells me she really wants to do blow since she lost hers in the club. I start making calls at 4am with no luck lol. She tells me "I cant wait to get you back to my place. Im so glad i met you tonight".
And at that point i realized, fuck this is really going to happen. "Don't fuck this up Nick". This girl was stunning, every guy at the club wanted her and was taking selfies with her, and she was fucking mine for the night. It was at this point that I realized, I don't have my viagra and due to many bad encounters from the past, i remember I can't get erect for shit without them. (It's a long story). I start to panic, as everyone is getting ready to leave the doctor's condo.
I desperately text Justin Aguiar, saying I need him to deliver my dick pills ASAP at this random location that's about 20 minutes away from where he was lol. The clock is ticking, and it feels like mission impossible. Justin starts RUNNING to my locate with both our phones on 2%.
We leave the condo and all walk to this food place, i'm trying to text Justin the change of address ASAP because these fucking people keep changing their minds about where to eat. "Nahh, lets go get A&W actually" says one of the girl's friends, and we depart yet again. I tell Justin to relocate to A&W near clubbing district, but NOO, apparently they want to make things difficult and go to the A&W down on Queen and Dovercourt, way fucking farther. We all hop in the dude's car and head to A&W. It seems over for me. I tell Justin to abort mission and accept my limp dick losses.
But while in A&W, I have an idea that just might save the lay. I tell the girl "ACTUALLY my buddy might have blow. Want me to cab to my place and grab it?". She says "Yes hurry, i'll make sure my friends wait for you" she says as her phone dies. And I start fucking running searching for the nearest cab with my phone almost dead. I flag one down, tell the guy to book it to my place. Once I stop there i tell the dude to wait for me while I run up and grab my shit, then come back down.
I get into my condo, scream to Dave that im about to get laid, and question whether or not I should stay at home or go through with it and pay for another fucking cab. He says to do it. And I factored in that she was really really fucking hot, and it would be a good story to tell. I grab my second stash of viagra I had in my room, run down to the cab driver, and I see him fucking driving away as I scream for him to wait! I begin thinking this is the end and she probably left A&W already.
I start running down the street, but its 4:30 in the morning and there are no cabs. I quickly call a cab company and they tell me itll be 5-10 minutes before the cab arrives.... FUCK.
I impatiently start waiting, praying to god for a miracle. Finally the cab arrives and we book it back to A&W.
I see her waiting outside with her friends. "YOU CAME BACK" she said excitedly. "I told them to wait for you and they we're just about to leave." And so we start walking back to the dude's car all together, while the viagra starts to kick into my system. I casually build rapport with her friends to try and not seem like an anti social loser.
We finally pull up to her building, and me and her get out. He room mate that was at the club earlier and left early was passed out drunk the lobby, but luckily she woke up lol. We take the elevator up to her condo, her room mate goes to her own room passed out. Finally, it's just me and her, No more obstacles. We drink a bit more and things get more heated. Then we hop on her bed, rip each others clothes off, and at 5:30am, i had the best sex of my fucking life.
This chick was squirting everywhere, we were doing it in every position possible, she put a buttplug up her ass and let me do anal. She was scratching the fuck out of my back and arms, just screaming her head off. Tight pussy, tasted amazing. 5ft2, just tiny enough to throw around easily. Words can not explain the satisfaction of that night. And finally at 8:30, she says she needs to go to the washroom because I probably broke her.
She disappears for about 30 minutes, I open the door and shes passed out on the toilet with her pants off. I bring her back to bed, we pass the fuck out, and she kicks me out in the morning lmao.
and that was the last I saw of my dream girl... But the game continues. You must catch them, and let them go after.
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